a_carousel_ride's Xanga

"Mother Teresa's Faith Crisis"

Thu, 27 Sep 2007 18:54:10 GMT

Here's an article referring to a recently published book about the personal life of the woman who embodied the Gospel for the last half of the twentieth century. Some might be shocked, some relieved, some disturbed, some not surprised at all. (Sorry if I already emailed it to you.) Thinking of the the tensions and paradoxes in the Christian journey and the definition of faith itself.

http://www.time.com/time/world/article/0,8599,1655415,00.htm

As the world goes 'round, it's got me thinking...

Wed, 19 Sep 2007 04:41:49 GMT

I haven't posted in a while, and I feel like a good majority of people who used to read this don't anymore but for those of you who do, you're going to be subjected to the token update:

I'm living in Elgin, IL with my parents currently. If you would have asked me two years ago if I would ever move back in with my parents, I probably would have hit you. As it turns out I really appreciate how dysfunctional my family is, and I'm learning a lot about why they are the way they are and understanding how I can best relate to them. It's not there yet, but I feel like my time here is well spent. In addition my brother and sister are growing up way too fast and I'm realizing that I missed out on a lot of opportunities to hang out and watch them start to change from being little people to real people.

Being home has also opened my eyes to all the reasons that I don't want to be here. Here, as in American society here. I'm not saying this just to jump on what seems to be the increasingly popular "America sucks" bandwagon, or the even the "Bush Sucks" bandwagon. There are so many things I love about living in this country. The hospitality, the food, the generosity, the smiles, lots of great music and having everyone speaking a language I completely understand. Being home has made me appreciate the things about this country I couldn't before. I was on a road trip along the east coast last month and even came to appreciate certain achievements in our nations history.

No, I don't have pipe dreams of finding out who I really am or my calling in life while traveling to new and exotic places. (Although, I wouldn't mind traveling to new and exotic places.) Instead, I have been faced with a dilemma since I have been back, starting a new chapter in my life, looking for a job and thinking a bit more about the future (and some honest reflection about the past.) The fact of the matter is that barring the existence of some fantastic gift or skill undiscovered in myself I'm presented with two options for my life by staying in the New World.

The first option:

I can think about the future, about family, about a career. This would require me to essentially throw away the pure enjoyment of whatever is left of my not yet clearly defined "youth". I would need to enroll in classes somewhere, if it would be at Community College again, I would need to live at home for an extra year. When I wasn't studying I would have to be working, for the simple fact that my parents have no money. If I did want to make my family a priority I would have no time to see anyone else, or do any of the things that I enjoy doing. I would at that point transfer to a university where I'd most likely have to commute to try to cut down the debt I would already be taking on anyways as most of the money I could have saved will have gone to keeping my car running, to paying off the community college, or to an iPhone. When it's all said and done and I've killed 3 years of my life to get the damn piece of paper I will hopefully be lucky enough to find a job that starts off around $45,000 with plenty of room for promotions and salary increases. This way I could make enough to support the family that I never see and spend those 2 bittersweet weeks with them each and every year. In this case my wife could raise my children essentially by herself in complete isolation on the island known as the modern suburban home. She can focus all her God given gifts, energies and skills into creating the perfect children, with the perfect personalities in classic Spockian fashion. Meanwhile, my feelings of disconnection and worthlessness can be directed into suppressing my being and pursuing a meaningless career. Well, there's more to be said on this scenario. But I think you've got the picture.

Now, a lot of people will say, "hey man, you don't have to live that way. You can choose to be different, you have other options." Of course I wish I was autonomous and that my ideals will remain completely intact by the time I'm 35, but the fact is that it's not a coincidence our hippy parents turned out exactly like theirs before them despite the insistency that their sub-culture was destined to overturn the status quo. Instead, they made their mark (and a powerful one) but were consequently absorbed into traditional american values and culture. I'm not taking that risk. I mean, I only have one shot at this thing and then it's over.

The second option:

I can actually enjoy my life now, and end up being that manager you worked for in high school. You know, the 35 year old in retail or the one at the restaurant, who took out his/her frustration about the fact that he/she never went to college and was now working a dead end job and barely supporting his/her family out on you.

Let's not forget about the cost of healthcare, lack of employment security in an unstable economy, and a comprehensive, developed welfare state to even keep myself alive should I lose my job working in America's static labour market which finds itself increasingly unable to keep any level of vibrancy in such a dynamic global economy. Chances are, the job I get out of college will probably be obsolete ten years after I graduate.

No, I don't want to be here. I prefer the 37-40 hour work week as opposed to the 57-60 hour one. That's twenty hours a week I could invest in my family, my world, my community, my music, and playing with my iPhone. I'll take guaranteed employment and mobility over job security. I'll take tons of days off for parental leave when my child is born. I won't work my entire life for my kids college fund, my retirement, or my pension. I'll live in the present. I'll take six weeks of vacation to remind myself that my value is not in what I can produce, that I'm contributing to something more than the GDP.

How do I make this happen? I go back to the Old World and fight like hell to find a path to citizenship, maybe pay a woman desperate for money to marry me. Please don't comment unless you find yourself in that category.

- Steven

Good News to Reflect On

Tue, 19 Jun 2007 02:58:36 GMT

I still don't have a car and wake up at 8 every morning for no reason.

I have found a job working for cherry pickers most of July which involves me living at a huge summer house with my three cousins whom I rarely see. (Includes beach and boat!)

I can defeat an 8 and 12 year old in hide-and-seek time trials, consistently.

On the global front, some signs of hope: Peacekeepers in Sudan, inspectors in N. Korea (sidenote: Why does everyone have to disarm but us?), China's cracking down on slave labor, 700 held as global pedophile ring smashed, 31 children rescued and though I'm not sure what to think of this new Palestinian government in regards to Democratic process, at least it opens the door for international aid among other things.

Múm. 1 November. 15 bones.

Coffee "could prevent eye tremors" - "Drinking coffee prevents against an eyelid spasm that can lead to blindness (a study suggests)". Parentheses added. Hey, that's enough to get me started again, I've been deathly afraid of eye tremors since I could walk.

A massive road trip in August with some people pretty neat folks.

So maybe these all don't belong in the same category, but positives are positives.

Home

Tue, 12 Jun 2007 21:03:44 GMT

Thanks you to those of who taught me so much over the last nine months. You know who you are. At least you should. If your not sure it's safe to assume you did.

It's a peculiar feeling to have your thoughts pacing back and forth between two worlds and sad to know that in a relatively short amount of time one ceases to exist as a present reality.

That's enough thoughtful reflection.

I really need a bike, I'm going through some serious withdrawl.

People like to hear themselves talk here...I'd like those moments/minutes/hours/days/months back.

I have a court date on the 25th regarding my suspended license. Please pray that they take it forever.

If anyone wants to hang, let me know.

Nørrebro i brand

Mon, 05 Mar 2007 20:52:46 GMT

Here's some info about what's going on in my neighborhood. There have been riots and protests (over 600 arrested) throughout Copenhagen this week in response to an eviction that took place on 1 March at Copenhagen's autonomous "Ungdomshuset" (literally translated: the Youth House). I had been there a few times to hang out or go to a cheap show and really enjoyed the atmosphere and the people. I'll keep this short since any of you who want to hear the long story can read the info below, but a Christian organization managed to come into ownership of the building (the city would not sell them it to them so they bought out the shares of the company that did buy it) and after a long legal battle they have succeeded in having the current residents (mostly kids) evicted (using a military helicopter and special forces.) The fascinating thing about all of this is the polar political sides that are at odds over this building. It's like the ultimate clash between right wing fundamentalist conservatism and left-wing anarcho-communism and it's all taking place in my back yard! Anyways, I find the whole thing fascinating, and though I personally side mostly with Ungdomshuset, I believe both sides have made a few past mistakes.

There are a lot of angles, resources, and opinions on this story, here's some I came across. Unfortunately, most internet media (as expected) sides with Ungdomshuset or at least exhibits some level of sympathy towards them. One more observation that I should point out: since Ungdomshuset isn't a legitimate organization with a structural hierarchy, (only a rotating spokesperson) whoever wants to act in the name of the house can do so and has. Eighty to ninety percent of the rioting I have seen firsthand seems to involve random young people (mostly drunk) looking for an excuse to vandalize and destroy property. I have seen a higher percentage of what appear to be youth house "members" when there is direct confrontation with police, building barricades, and protesting. I think it's likely that a substantial amount of private property damage, if not a majority, was not caused by Ungdomshuset. Not to say that those associated with Ungdomshuset have not contributed to damage (because they definitely have), but I believe that a majority of them are more interested in demonstrating and protesting in order to cause a change in policy rather than to release some long held aggression. It's important to note, however, that Ungdomshuset has not publicly denounced any of the actions that have taken place in the past 3 days

Anyone who finds this as interesting as I do and has any questions or comments, let me know.

Wikipedia (online open source encyclopedia)

Article - Ungdomshuset

Article - Faderhuset

Information from Ungdomshuset [The Youth House] website

News

About Ungdomshuset - written last year

About the trial - Written last year

International Communiqué from Ungdomshuset - written 1 day before the eviction on 1 March

Faderhuset info

Faderhuset (the Father House) site - Unfortunately only in Danish, though maybe you could find a decent translator

Ungdomshuset Constant Updates (in English)

Videos from Danish TV, hundreds of other videos on YouTube (search "Ungdomshuset" or "Copenhagen riots")

Video - Posted by an Anonymous Author on December 10th, it's a bit melodramatic, but offers an interesting perspective

Video from the riots on 16-12-06, the weekend that the youth were told to leave the building (A few of us managed to get inside the house on this night and the atmosphere was unlike anything I've ever experienced)

Politiken.dk Video - Police van hits protester

CNN Stories (On the left of the page there is link to another video)

http://rss.cnn.com/~r/rss/cnn_topstories/~3/99229041/index.html

http://rss.cnn.com/~r/rss/cnn_topstories/~3/98903722/index.html

http://www.cnn.com/2007/WORLD/europe/03/05/denmark.protests.ap/index.html

BBC Stories

http://news.bbc.co.uk/go/rss/-/2/hi/europe/6408525.stm

http://news.bbc.co.uk/go/rss/-/2/hi/europe/6411559.stm

http://news.bbc.co.uk/go/rss/-/2/hi/europe/6414481.stm

http://news.bbc.co.uk/go/rss/-/2/hi/europe/6416421.stm

BBC Video

http://www.bbc.co.uk/mediaselector/check/player/nol/newsid_6410000/newsid_6414500?redirect=6414525.stm&news=1&bbram=1&bbwm=1&nbram=1&nbwm=1

The Copenhagen Post- A local weekly news publication in English

Christian group orchestrates showdown with squatters - December 2006

Page with list of articles relating to Ungdomshuset - Type "Ungdomshuset" in search bar

Video of Demonstration in front of Faderhuset in December of '06 (video has been cut, edited, and shows a bias, but interesting nonetheless; Ungdomshuset claimed police brutality)

In other news: There are bed bugs in our sleep in.

Saturday, March 03, 2007

Sat, 03 Mar 2007 13:36:19 GMT

CNN.com - Denmark Braces for More Violence

Neighborhood News

Thu, 01 Mar 2007 20:48:06 GMT

No more Ungdomshuset...no more shows, no more chances to be arrested and deported

BBC News

Politiken.dk - Photo Gallery

EDIT: I almost got tear gased...meandering around the city with an angry mob and being chased by riot police makes for an eventful night.

Germany, Winter 06

Mon, 01 Jan 2007 20:36:51 GMT

KARLSRUHE

Schloß in Karlsruhe

Bedroom View

CHRISTMAS WITH FANTASTIC FAMILY

HEIDELBURG

HEIDLEBURG SCHLOß

Apparently a piece fell off

Anger because that piece fell off

He told me he was Robin Hood, so I gave him the benefit of the doubt

Post-Weinachten/Jul/Xmas

Tue, 26 Dec 2006 21:07:54 GMT

Time: 22:45

Location: Call and Chat auf Königstraße, Karlsruhe, Deustchland.

Why? Because Germans don´t like to share their wireless in what is inappropriately called a ´living community´

Everything since 14 Dec everything has been a bit blurry. I do recall stepping out of my room in the sleep in and daily being exposed to sheer silence, which I call bliss. It took about 48 hours for me to fall back into the nocturnal routine of staying up until 6 am then waking at 2 (as the sun goes down.) Some would say this leads to depression, on the contrary, I was as content and happy as I´ve been for some time.

Christmas day was spent in a little German church, surrounded by a forest in some remote village. Best Christmas service I have been to in quite a while. Worship (all hymns!) was played with woodwinds, brass and a piano. The Christmas presentation consisted of 4 children acting out every charachter in Luke´s account (including a donkey, which is there if you read beneath the text.) Then a few days with a family that spoke virtually no English, but fed me lots of chocolate, meat, chocolate, candy, and chocolate. All in all, a successful Christmas.

Note: The Autobahn doesn´t seem so fast when every one else is going 160 Km/hr as well.

Now my nights consist of sitting on 4th floor window ledges, listening to barking dogs and city traffic until 2AM while my friend is at work. I´ve also been taking some pictures (to be posted soon) around the city since I have access to a pretty fantastic camera.

Anyways, I had some great stories typed up about a half hour ago about, prophetic oracles disguised as crazy homeless woman, being stuck in the middle of Berlin and coffee machines smarter than all of us and the poor boy in the basement that makes it (and the world itself) run, but then I went off the page and lost them all. Oh, the frustration...so this is all you get.

Some Danish Humor Courtesy of Wulffmorgenthaler

Wed, 06 Dec 2006 17:03:51 GMT

8 more days until a much anticipated Christmas Break in Germany...it looks like I'll be hitch hiking all the way to Stuttgart.

Baresso: